Shoutout to the obsessive psychoboyfriend who sat in front of me during Sociology today. Not only did I read massive texts (YOUR phone was at MY eye level) about the drama going on between you and your "baby", I also learned your middle name, address, and Social Security number. I may as well state for the record that I plan on stealing your identity. However, unlike yourself, I will not be frequenting your girlfriend's Facebook page every 4.2 minutes. Just because there's a refresh button doesn't mean you need to utilize it in such a way. Regardless of your OCD tendencies, I truly hope you get that job at Target, and would also like to wish you the best of luck with the "wifey". I really hope she can keep her promise about not talking to any males for the rest of her life, and that the future marriage runs smoothly. I can tell that the two of you already have a solid foundation of trust, backed by the dependency of 160 characters instead of audible words. WINK WINK WINK.
Next time you you plan on making my lecture a social hour, please save yourself the walking time and stay the fuck at home, okay?
Thanks times a milli.
